The Bird, the Boy and the Matchmaker
by vhai
Summary: SCII. The subtle effects of Seung Mina as Matchmaker. For Talim and Yunsung.
1. Chapter 1

Seung Mina: After the greatest evil in your lifetime is gone, and you're alive, with absolutely no other purpose in life, what on earth do you do? Why, play matchmaker of course!

* * *

It all started innocently enough. It was peacetime, after the war, after Soul Edge was gone, and everyone was happily going about their lives… But Seung Mina was bored.

She was happy, she was alive, but she had _nothing_ to do. Hwang so whipped it was almost not funny anymore, so her love life there was fine and secure (somehow). Even challenges weren't as exciting as they should be, and the feeling of restlessness was making her itchy and annoyed. Seung Mina _needed _to make it go away. The itching was driving her nuts, and she was thinking about it and scratching her back when the answer to her problems fell onto her lap.

Quite literally you might add.

* * *

One minute, Yunsung had been running from these fumbling guard people and simply pissing them off by being the arrogant loudmouth that he was. The next minute, he was sprawled on the ground with Seung Mina, who had apparently been spacing out when she was training. Shoot. 

"Yunsung?"

He quickly got up off the ground and helped Mina to her feet. Both eyed the heavily breathing guards who had paused, trying valiantly to appear less winded in front of the general's daughter.

"Excuse us," he wheezed, "for interrupting your training ma'm but-"

"The boy here," the second guard paused to cough, "was being a nuisance. He'll not bother you again m'am..."

"We'll just take him for discipline now."

Mina was silent for a moment, as if she was thinking about something else. When the guards hesitantly asked if she was okay, she snapped out of her trance, glancing at Yunsung. She grinned widely and told them not to worry, "I'll take care of things."

When Yunsung caught sight of the creepy smile on Seung Mina's face, his instincts told him to run. Something bad was going to happen. Something extremely bad was going to happen. The fact that the creepy smile was directed at him did _not _make him feel any better at all. He had to make a run for it.

"uh, thanks a ton, I think-"

"You're. Not. Going. _Anywhere_. Boy."

He suddenly wished she couldn't read his mind so well. Maybe he'll get lucky. Maybe the creepy smile will go away. Maybe he'll be saved. Maybe she won't do anything. Maybe-

He was gutted by the blunt end of Mina's weapon and heaved onto her shoulder while she cackled evilly. He groaned sadly. Maybe not.

Hwang's first reaction when he heard that Yunsung was causing a ruckus was to grab his weapon and go beat the living daylights out of him. Hero of the war or not, the boy needed to learn that you did _not_ go around acting like a moron because some girl he's crushing on is back in town.

Then he heard that Seung Mina had decided to "appropriately discipline" him. Hwang's eye twitched as he imagined what the woman would do to her surrogate brother as 'discipline'. Contrary to the belief that she was soft on him, he knew she had a very harsh streak. A very scary harsh streak.

Hwang pondered whether or not to interfere, and eventually decided Seung Mina could deal with it on her own. He wouldn't want to interfere with such 'family business' anyway.

She would probably beat him up if he did.

* * *

A few days earlier, Talim had gotten a letter. 

"Talim, dear?"

As her mother handed her the letter, Talim shot her a questioning look. Who would send a letter to her at the temple?

"I believe it's from some of your traveling friends from your journey. Seung Mina and Yunsung?"

Talim skimmed the letter and decided it had been courteous, asking her how she had been, what she was up to now, and if she could possibly visit sometime soon if she wasn't busy. Apparently Seung Mina and Yunsung would be very glad to see her and catch up some time, now that things were settling down.

And apparently, her parents had gotten wind of what the letter said. Exchanging glances, they swiftly decided that it would be positively wonderful to 'set their wind shaman on a journey again for foreign relations' (father) and to think of it as 'giving their daughter a much needed vacation with her friends' (mother). Instinct told her that they both had an ulterior motive, but instinct did not tell her what the ulterior motive could be.

The sixteen (and a half) year old decided to look into ulterior motives later and enjoy the ride to see her old acquaintances. All too soon, she found herself in the city where Seung Mina and Yunsung were. Twas time to see old friends after a year...

* * *

In a comfortable, noisy, local bar, two great warriors battled fiercely. A crowd had gathered round, shouting their bets to the bookies nearby on who they thought would win. It was intense.

Taki glared at Mitsurugi, and muttered, "You're going down."

His eyes glinted mischievously as he calmly replied, "I think not," and further strengthened his grip on her.

"I beat Yunsung." Taki's face was reddening from exertion.

"But he was distracted with the pretty girl in the corner."

"Then maybe I should go play the pretty girl in the corner?"

He gave her a grin and with a final burst of energy, pinned her arm to the table. "You may do as you please, Taki-san, but as the pretty girl in the corner seems lost looking for him, I believe I shall go and help. Care to join me?" He offered her an arm of assistance.

Ignoring the slightly annoyed gamblers, who had bet on her to beat Mitsurugi in the arm wrestling match, she took the offered arm and smirked. "Ever the gentleman, eh? Do I get drinks?"

Mitsurugi laughed, and Taki soon joined, and the pair made their way to the slightly lost looking Talim, being accosted by the curious regulars and the entertaining crowd.

After all, it wasn't every day a pretty girl came who could cause Yunsung to loose at arm wrestling.


	2. Chapter 2

Yunsung wished he was having a nightmare. The world was completely and utterly against him. Karma must have pegged him for all his arrogance. Destiny must have doomed his fragile existence. All he had wanted was that last chocolate crepe! Apparently it had been too much to ask, because that last chocolate crepe just happened to be property of those darn guards, who just happened to chase him into Mina, who just happened to be plotting something.

Yunsung cursed fate and, quite stupidly, began to protest his cruel and unusual punishment.

"Woman, I am not your bloody-flipping-boy-toy! You cannot, every time you have your stupid cycle, use me in your bloody schemes! I will not be-"

At this point, Mina thwacked the boy over his head and smirked. By forceful persuasion, and her own top secret methods, Yunsung was all dressed up and ready for her plan.

...

Yoshimitsu was drunk and performing with his masks for an imaginary audience. He was generally ignored by the public and laughed at by little children, but if you happened pay any attention, he told quite an interesting story.

Kilik, by coincidence, happened to be passing by. After listening to the story and advising the puppeteer to quit drinking, he continued on his way to consult Xiangua on a certain invitation.

...

Maxi was really pissed off. Since when did his pirate ship turn into a merry-ferry boat! It was all that accursed woman's fault. Her and her lame challenge. It was so obvious, after the journey was almost finished, that she had been using his ship for its super speed to get across the ocean and come back. Maxi cursed her and her lame reverse psychology, betting him that his ship wouldn't be fast enough to complete her lame errands.

"All hands on deck! Quit grumbling Ms. Sophitia, you're the one who wanted to escort your sister." A loud snap tore through the air as the white-haired woman Maxi was cursing cracked her whip.

"It's your fault she decided to come at all! She'd never have any idea to leave home if you hadn't put the idea in her head!" Sophitia glared at the woman, Ivy, who smiled.

"True... but then she wouldn't have known about the wedding either."

...

"WEDDING?"

... 


	3. Chapter 3

((this part was actually supposed to be part of chapter 2, but I kind of didn't write it at the time I posted it)) ... so...

Chapter 2 (continued)

...  
...

"Kilik, do I really need to answer that question?"

"It would be helpful if you did."

"But you know-"

"-So Xianghua, your answer?"

"Kilik-"

"We shouldn't go, right? I mean, we could turn around-"

"_Kilik_. We are already **halfway** **there**. I have **already said yes**. Several times. Stop trying to get out of this, or we'll be late."

Kilik sighed in defeat. The result of consulting Xianghua, he thought wearily, was a very large headache. After arriving on her doorstep and asking her advice, Xianghua leapt at the chance to escort him. Preparations that Xianghua sent gave him his major headache were more confusing than really bad traffic.

Sadly, they ran into that too.

* * *

When Talim first heard of **The Plan**, from Mina-san, her eyes had gotten very big and her heart rate went up a bit. Polite girl that she was, however, she still replied with good humor and cheer and reasoned with herself that it was to help a friend in need. 

When Talim realized she would have to scrap her beloved double blades for the ceremony however, she drew the line.

* * *

... 

"Mina. Sit, sit, have some tea. Let's talk. Tell me again, where's Yunsung's girl in this plan of yours?"

"She's in her place, father."

"And you're quite sure this is only for the benefit of Yunsung? You have no... ulterior motives?"

"... Father." A sarcastic, scornful, 'you fool' look that only children can shoot perfectly to their parents is sent by Mina, and their small talk ends. Tea is packed up and a spar begins. So much for "let's talk"...

But Sensei doesn't have much use for words anyway. The loud one has always been Yunsung...

* * *

... 

"So who's the chick I have to walk down the aisle with? I know you know who she is. Comeoncomeoncomeon! Hwaaanngg.."

"Yunsung, you've been pestering Hwang for over an hour... I never knew you had such persistence, and nor did I know Hwang had this much patience. It is new knowledge, yet not so surprising that-"

"Sheesh, Kilik, you don't know either of us that well... What kind of best man are you!"

"A suitable one, who we got on short notice. By the way, you have our thanks Kilik-"

"! The statue speaks!"

"If I'm a statue, why hasn't your finger cracked from poking me for so long?"

"They covered you in the silicon fake stuff they use for implants and fat suits!"

Here there is an awkward silence with each man to his own thoughts. It may be assumed that the comical facial expressions the men wear are in danger of getting stuck forever by the time any conversation resumes.

* * *

A Drunken Drabble_... (performed with sock puppets by the great Yoshimitsu...)_ ...

_  
Once upon a time, there was a boy_

"Hey! I'm a **man**! Get it right already!"

_and a matchmaker._

"You know, she really shouldn't be 'a matchmaker'. Who'd she match make anyway!"

"For once I agree with the boy... He should have put in 'beautiful goddess of love' instead-"

"Oh, you make me sick-"

"Shut up and listen... We'll **REVIEW** at the end."

_Anyway, the boy was brash but the matchmaker decided that someday Miss Right would come along. One day, the boy found a little chickadee._

_His first instinct was to eat it._

_He refrained of course, and the matchmaker took it as a sign. By the next morning she got together with the wedding planner who transformed the chickadee into a beautiful woman. The bird and the boy were successfully married and everyone lived happily ever after._

_  
The End._

!Review!

"Oh bloody hell, they're all crazy. A sign, married to some chick!"

"Well, I think he got most of it correct. Especially about the 'His first instinct was to eat it' part-"

"Bloody hell, isn't there a name for stupid things like marrying birds or eating them! Oh what was it... can-na-na-balism ? or beast-it-a-little-lily?"

"You moron!" THWACK.

* * *

So, the actual chapter three... which in comparison to the crack-drabble shouldn't sound half as lame as it really is...

* * *

"So, Mina-san, do you have all of your plans in place yet?"

"Yes actually, thanks ever so much to my wonderful wedding planner..."

Girlish giggling emits from the two women in an office.

"But seriously Mina-san, everyone knows their part in the wedding? I know its pretty small and word gets around fast, but everyone's here and knows what their doing right?"

"I can only hope so... Hwang was actually in charge of informing the boys, but I at least know we've gotten to all the girls. Gosh Taki-san, you've been an absolute angel as a wedding planner! On behalf of everyone in the wedding, you are greatly thanked!"

"Bah, you're just sucking up. Live a little, woman! Enjoy! The bachelorette party is coming up, just before the wedding. Everything will be fine. Trust me on this one."

And if you trusted Taki-san, everything did come out fine.

* * *

... 

The wedding was very quaint, and no real ruckus was made (until everyone got drunk at the reception; but alas, another story for another time) and it was, on the whole, a very sweet wedding.

The guests agreed, it was about time Hwang and Mina got married.

... 

And just so you know, they really did live happily ever after.

... 

The 'its not really over yet' end.

... 

((because you haven't heard about the bachelorette party nor the wedding yet... and they don't exist in detail until the next chapters))


	4. Chapter 4

"Did you hear?"

"Of course, _I_ heard. Even if the wedding was small."

"You class-lacking hussy! I didn't hear until it was over! I can't believe they got married."

"I think it's about time those two tied the knot."

"They still didn't invite me. Hell, _Kilik _(pole swinging ruffian) was Hwang's _best man_. How'd he manage that anyway?"

"…………. You have a really good point there, but Taki-san (that smart girl) figured that Yunsung would be too drunk (and he was) to be the best man."

"I bet the speech was damn awkward for Kilik….. heh heh heh….."

"No luck, Raphael dear, you see..."

_Kilik was the last one to make a toast, because at the reception the rest of the **world** seemed to magically appear at the cry of 'Free Beer'._

_By the time he managed to get a word in, he was half-way tipsy and near slurring. Red-faced and jovial, he actually stood up on the table and half-sang a limerick. A very, very, very **crude** limerick._

_Not to be outdone, an equally red-faced Xianghua, dragging a very reluctant and swaying Cassandra, boldly raised a toast to the fertility of the newly weds, boasting the blonde's knowledge of birth control._

_This starts an entirely new commotion where many pieces of cake are flung, and many of tables are broken._

"…Therefore, Kilik never had to go through any awkward speech or anything… It was quite amusing, and I'm sure some of the poor dears still have hangovers"

"And you don't? Miss Ivy, if I remember correctly, you did mention something about winning one of those classless 'chugging competitions'."

"Bah, I can hold my god-cursed liquor. Besides, the local apothecary's around here have some pretty good remedies for those hangovers. Actually, I just heard from this store owner..."

_Those local apothecarys always love weddings and things. Good business they get from those hangover remedies, you see. Locally there are even a few competitions going on. One particular rivalry, very close to the bazaar, involves two stores that lie directly across Market Street._

_Why the owners would decide to put the two apothecaries so close remains an unsolved and completely irrelevant mystery. But if business is good, who cares? Most (unsuspecting) customers were under siege the moment one apothecary knew it was a customer, offering the best deals and the best medicines. Excluding, of course, the extremely drunk customers on the verge of throwing up. Most shopkeepers tend to find those fake smiles and niceties difficult with such people._

_However, when some weirdos are unavoidable, then the best way to deal with them is get them out of the way quickly._

_The head shopkeeper of the north apothecary was the first to note the cranky people. They bickered over nothing and didn't bring enough money for more than 1 serving of hangover remedy for two._

_Perhaps it would be safe to say that it was actually more of the young man doing the bickering, especially after drinking the hangover remedy. The young lady (looking terribly distraught) took more of a defensive stance, with a red-eyed death glare moments after drinking the remedy._

_After sending the couple on their way, the amused apothecary vendor (in the span of two minutes the two had bickered over 'what really happened', who had better hair, who would drink out of the bottle first, who would pay, who made more money, who won more fights, who had better friends, and what breakfast would be) turned to even out the score between the rival across the road._

"Hm, mildly interesting. I suppose you have another story by the look on your face Miss Ivy."

"Ha ha, you are correct. Those kids are just so amusing. You know that Yunsung was drunk for the wedding, yes? Well, you see, he proposed when he was drunk, and then at the reception when **everyone **was drunk..."

* * *

All Talim had to do was pretend that it wasn't real. Yunsung was drunk at the wedding, he didn't really propose. 

_He walked in swaying. Mina-san had told her that he'd get drunk before he went to the wedding, but she hadn't wanted to believe that he'd really attend the wedding wasted. She wanted to think less of him now, think of Yunsung as pathetic for being this impolite, but she couldn't. _

_Talim caught him as he staggered into the training hall, where so many fights had taken place and where now there was to be a wedding. His eyes focused and unfocused on her face for a moment, before he tried to speak._

_"Hey," was what he managed, and then, putting his hands on her shoulders for support, he bent down on one knee..._

The hangover remedy was working slowly (probably because she only took half the suggested dose), but her head wasn't pounding like it had been when she had woken up hugging Yunsung, unarmed, feeling like she was as close to naked as she could get (without actually being so). She still couldn't remember what happened after that second shot, but that was probably due to her own subconscious- suppressing those unwanted memories.

She couldn't have really married Yunsung at the reception, right?

There's no possible way that they could have gotten that drunk.

Besides.

He hadn't even given her a ring.


End file.
